32. vidnesbyrd

I walked into the gyno appointment and said I’m scared because I’ve had incredible vag pain for the last three months, my last two exams were unimaginably painful and I’m concerned that instead of helping me to address the pain, you’re going to go ahead and remove the polyp as planned.

The gynocologist didn’t really say anything, which should have been an alarm. I had to talk her into using a small speculum (which is normally “bad” on a “good” day but is excruciating now) – that should have been another alarm.

I thought she was going to do a pain exam. Instead she put in the speculum and opened it. I cried out and said it hurts, please stop. She opened it more; repeat. Then she pulled on the polyp and I cried out and said stop, stop, stop. An assistant came and asked what was wrong in Danish, and they snarked about me in Danish, saying that I was anxious and over reacting. And then took the speculum out and said I would have to come back because they didn’t get everything. (I’m not going back.)

I cried on the exam table for awhile, then put on my clothes, then got a lecture about how I how I need to stop doing 10 things for my vagina’s health (nevermind that I have never done any of those things), and that I’m a horrible person for not wanting to take her recommended probiotics because they have milk in them and I’ve been vegan for 20 years.

I’ve never been so dismissed or abused in a medical situation in my life – and am now experiencing PTSD. That was serious trauma, and totally unnecessary.